When you have more than you can cope with, you get a jam. This is true for roads, and true for life in general. It’s not what you make of the time spent in a jam, it’s what you make of the abundance that got you into it in the first place. Yes, abundance. There is plenty of everything we want in our lives, we just spread it unevenly. And we don’t like to change when we are not happy with what we have.
Congestion comes from abundance, not from a lack of things. The abundance of time we use to sleep a little longer, and then miss or run late for our appointment. We use more time on one end, and end up short on the other. The abundance of junk food we indulge in, and then gain weight and get sick as a result. We eat more than we need and our bodies respond by looking less than what we’d like them to be. The abundance of leeway we take with our relationships, saying or doing things we don’t think through and make him or her resent us. We take too much for granted, and our wish is granted by being left alone.
We all want abundance. Being modest doesn’t contradict wanting abundance. And there is abundance all around us. In every area of our lives we can see abundance. It’s our natural state of being. It just tends to be happening more to someone else but us. In fact, everything that we have or do taps the same source of abundance.
It is more comfortable to stick with what we know, rather than go for what we’d prefer. “I’m always late, that’s just me.” No, you’re not, unless you really want to be. “I’m big on food, can’t help it, it’s in my genes.” Yes, you can help it, if you really want to. “I’m not good with relationships, I always screw things up, it’s my luck.” No, you can change your “luck”, if you really want to. This may sound patronising to our egos. And that’s one of the reasons we choose to ignore it. Our choosing to ignore it comes dressed as a myriad of excuses, explanations, and justifications. We put it off, we shelve it, and forget it. Until next time we’re in a jam.
More than we need, and more than we can cope with are sister notions. If moderation is a balancing act which keeps us wholesome, then being out of balance is going to extremes. Too much or too little, both may land us in a jam. Health, money, and relationships all belong to the same abundance pool. We are in balance when we become more than less than we think we can become.
Do you know what you want? Do you believe that you can be, do, and have what you want? Then go knowingly towards it. One step at a time is a good start, as simple or cliché as it may sound.
Knowingly get up 15 minutes earlier and you’ll be there on time. Adjust and learn. Listen to feedback, not just from other people, but from what’s happening to you. If you’d rather be somewhere else than at work at 7am, but you do need the money, try to negotiate for a different starting time. If it doesn’t happen, perhaps in the short to medium term look for a job that allows working from home or whatever arrangement you’d prefer.
Congratulate yourself every time you say no to that extra bite or snack, and replace it with a piece of fruit and a walk. Ask for advice on how to keep yourself accountable for your diet. Be honest with yourself. Seek out like-minded people who are going to be your support. Look for stories of people who’ve changed their diets around. You can do it too.
Communicate to your partner what you want in your relationship, whatever the fear of consequences. Your attitude matters more than your altitude in your relationship. People may say we’ve been together for 20 years. That’s high enough, but why do you feel so low? If you want more fun, joy, or intimacy, discuss it with your partner. Your or their behaviours are not a given. You can change your feelings if you believe you can change the way you use your abundance.
We get used to being in jams. They become our jams. My traffic jam, my relationship jam, my money jam, my lack of time jam, my lack of faith or self-esteem jam. Habitual behaviors may not be extreme on the surface. “So what I’m always late, what’s the big deal.” But they undermine our balance and keep us in the loop of same old reality. Every day we go jamming into the world, watching other jammed people around us and on TV.
Jeremy used to be afraid every time he messed up and found himself in a jam. He would imagine that bad things would happen if he was late again, or if he failed to keep an appointment because of his poor time keeping skills. He didn’t realise that fear of bad things happening to him was exactly what kept him in the loop of repeating the same behavior time and time again.
To quote Susan Jeffers, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Do what feels right, not what feels easy.
Look around yourself and look inside yourself. You are part and parcel of what you believe in. God, Universe, Mother Nature love you and accept you as you are. Even things set in stone can be carved out anew. Believe in your strength emanating from the abundance you’re part of to act in line with how you want to feel. It’s your natural state.
Tap your abundance on a different shoulder and you may realise that jams can be sweet gifts that make us grow.